Call me a finished man, na you sabi but I just couldn’t take my eyes off her as she swallowed those sumptuous ‘lumps’ of okele at Amala Skye that day, with her struggling to keep her seemingly perfect braids away and her lips moving ever so dramatically. I was 100% lost in her eyes. Feels just like yesterday I must say.
I probably have you lost so let me walk you through it. Okay, see ehen, I’m more than your average fine boy and I’m not even capping. I should drop my name so y’all can see how peng I’m but UITES, you guys will not let me rest(so for the course of this article assume my name is Jidman and my damsel as Omorogavia).
Reiterating I’m a proper fine boy, 6ft2, heavily built Techite in this Varsity. Quite popular, insanely good athlete and not as a matter of pride, I get money oo. I’m a resident of the Great Independence Hall, Block C to be precise. And yes, as you’ve guessed, I’m a part of those wicked guys that run ‘aro’ for Idia and Awo babes trying to navigate to their respective halls via that shortcut. Ironically, behind the scenes, I’m a lonely a** Yoruba man. I’ve never had a relationship, somebody’s daughter had never found me(hence, why I dey vex do aro) and for a fact I desperately craved one.
I grew up in a family of 4, all boys by the way. I’ve always been awkward around women, even when these my coursemates force their hugs on me, I’m always clustered and finding the easiest avenue to japa. So you could understand how strongly I felt for this Ivie girl.
So this fateful day, I went to get Shawarma at this stand opposite Idia Hall, on my way back this particular girl bumped into me or maybe it was the other way round because I was texting, her tote bag fell with her things all over the place, my purse did too. Like a classic Indian movie how eyes locked as we’re picking up her things. Obob, could this be what the poets described love at first sight? Lol, NAH!!! As I was going through my thoughts, this lady just started dissing me out of nowhere, all kinds of annoying words. It was pretty late, I just decided to pick up my purse and walk away before they start pushing “he’s harassing a lady” agenda. Muttering “na God save you say my Shawarma” no fall as I headed for Indy. Ate my thing in peace, drank a cold Zobo and turned in.
Next morning was a Sunday, freshened up, donned my Senator material and was about to leave for fellowship when I noticed there was a strange looking purse on my cabinet having searched endlessly for mine. Opened it, started seeing lip-gloss and the lot. From where to where?? Told my roommate that why would he leave his babe’s things at my side. He was like it wasn’t hers. Frustrated already I tried the number on the library ID in the purse it rang and conversed with the person on the other line. Apparently, she had a strange purse on her too and didn’t know how to reach the owner. I started to put two and two together; we definitely switched at some point. I became worried because all 3 of my ATM cards were in that purse. We eventually agreed to meet at a public space in school after church.
Just couldn’t wait for service to end; doubt I picked up anything. As much as I love to bant Manchester United, I didn’t even pay attention as Liverpool put 5 past them. It was almost time for the meet so I headed to SUB. Rang the number, she was already there, got close enough to say hello and as she turned around I couldn’t help but notice how beautiful the rude, uncultured girl that dissed me yesterday night was. All she applied was a little powder and gloss but I just stood there dumbstruck, my adrenaline pumping; my heart felt as though the US just detonated another atomic bomb at Hiroshima. Took me a bit but I found my words after staring into her pretty eyes with contacts for moments.
She apologized for the previous night saying her hormones were all over the place and all. We swapped items, we both checked all was intact. It was a Sunday evening so Pepsi stand was awfully quiet. One thing led to another and we stood there getting to know each other for hours. We kept conversing as I walked her back to Queen Idia. We formerly exchanged digits and this girl finally pushed my button when she said “she still feels sorry for the things she uttered and said she would love to apologize over a meal” Norms, I know I’m a fine man, but was this Agbani Darego reincarnate really asking me out. I was reluctant but she won’t take no for an answer. So, I agreed.
Guess you now have a full insight into what prompted the first paragraph. Lots of things followed the Amala Skye day, lots of outings, meetings(from Fanice to Kilomanjaro to Filmhouse to Hexagon), dates, accompanied each other to parties even departmental plus ones. She came to see me at almost all my football games and cheered me on. I remember scoring one day and going to hug her. She loved charity and volunteering so I was mostly there for her. We’re so in sync and understood each other so well. My coursemates and friends started putting ideas in my head when they started calling us bae and boo. Well, I just decided to shoot the shot, I was fully aware that if I did this and she wasn’t feeling the same way, I would ruin our almost perfect friendship but it was a risk I willed to take.
D-day was the day after my birthday, I had carefully pondered my words prior and started pitching to Ivie in the botanical garden. I almost went into hypovolemic shock as she stopped me mid-way. So I blew this for nothing? To my surprise the words that fell out of her mouth were that she felt absolutely the same way and would probably have raised us being together if I hadn’t. To be honest, that’s all I needed as I certainly didn’t pay attention when she said her current relationship was complicated and had some ill formalities. Local man didn’t care. “Ah don get babe”
That day led to another, and Jidman X Ivie became the latest couple in town. We’re crazy about each other all semester. Went to her place quite a lot and she frequented my hall quite often. I was so far gone that the techite in me was reading MBBS course materials and steadily jacking textbooks so I could summarize for my babe when she woke up from her nap. It was proper 4 months of bliss, poise and elegance till I got that invitation to her place for the 24th of December. Well, guess our relationship had gotten to the part of meeting her family.
So there I was on the eve of Christmas decently dressed and neat cut headed for the address she gave me in Iyanganku, Ibadan. Got there and she ushered me in casually dressed like someone at home. Ecstatic to see her, we kept discussing and laughing till her Dad walked in. Prostrated to greet like the proper yoruba boy I’m, we joked a bit and he went out to receive a call business I guess. In the meantime my babe made proper pounded yam and efo garnished with ponmo, fishes and the lot; so I ate like there was no tomorrow.
We joked around for a bit and she said she had something to tell me. I got off my phone and paid attention as she began saying the man that just walked in was not her dad but actually the man she’s engaged too. I burst into laughter and was like “Is this playing? What kind of playing is this?”(in Oba Solomoni’s voice). Howbeit, she had a quite serious face and kept talking on and on. She walked me through how he had sponsored her education from SSCE up to this point, changed her wardrobe every year, gave her and parents allowance and every other financial need that needed meeting. So she was basically promised to him and a lot of other nonsense.
I legit thought these things were only in Nollywood movies yet here I was experiencing one myself. Ivie said he was not against her seeing other people as Chief daddy himself had 4 different wives across Nigeria but he just loved having her around. The fact that she loved and respected me made her tell me because she didn’t want to lose me as I was everything she hoped for in a man and neither did she want to be ungrateful to that man. As expected, like any normal person I flared up, shouted her and stormed out of the place almost immediately. “Sey dem wan dey whine me ni?”.
Looool, I didn’t oo. I don’t know if it’s the efo she gave me to eat that day or the fact that if her hands her combing through my head I lose control, I agreed without thinking about it twice. A whole me fresh yoruba demon playing second-fiddle to this pot-bellied quarter to 60 man. I agreed to the arrangement not like I had anything to lose. Besides, how will they be hearing it that Jidman overall best in freshness in the entire faculty of Tech, the esteemed University of Ibadan chop December breakfast, for hia?
It’s been 6 months from then, I don’t know if it’s madness, love, lust, blinded loyalty or an excessive want to preserve my social standing, all I know is I desperately need help or would is this how I would be back up for life. Now my Mama is already reminding me that I need to bring a woman home.
Katangites, Techites, the University of Ibadan, Nigeria what do I actually do? I’m stuck at this crossroads. Please help a brother because I really do not want to ponder this other solution coming to my head in the past 2 weeks.
Please drop advices in the comment box.
– Your anonlover 001