I actually did not come to school to date anyone but two weeks into my first year on campus and I was already liking this girl from MLS. Or she was the one liking me? Whichever one it was, we just found ourselves sitting next to each other in our PHY 102 and CHE 156 classes in CBN that year. She was always reserving seats for me and it wasn’t long before I started feeling her vibes. Omo the story been dey sweet. But it didn’t work out
There are some things we wish we knew about dating in the university – how to know when someone really likes you or if it’s just because they’re lost and you were the only available ‘friend’, how to let someone know you like them, how to bring your dating partner to your room in a male hostel where you have 3 other roomies…
Dating in the university is not always straightforward and it comes with a lot of paths to navigate. Maybe you’ve already dated in your secondary school as the bad boy or girl that you are, and you and your secondary school sweetheart have decided to go your separate ways as you begin a new phase in your lives. When it comes to relationships in the university, all sorts of things can happen. Here are 7 tips to help you with dating in the university.
1. DON’T GET INTO A RELATIONSHIP IMMEDIATELY
The thing with Samad from philosophy, Sarah from Vet, and every other university student is that they feel the urge to jump into something serious with the first person they lock eyes with. I understand they are beautiful people all around but it does not always have to be that way.
Dating, especially in your first year in the university, is always a gamble since you don’t really know anyone yet. It is advisable to take time in getting to know people, explore a bit, attend social gatherings and not be in a rush or you might end up regretting your decision.
2. BREAK UP WITH YOUR SECONDARY SCHOOL SWEETHEART
If you’ve decided to date someone in the university, it’s best to end things officially with your secondary school lover or anyone you’ve been seeing in Jamb tutorial centers. It’s always tempting to think that you can eat your cake and have it but it’s the wrong thought. Stop giving the other person hope and playing with their feelings. Dating in the university comes with a lot of things and the last thing you want to do is try to balance home and away fixtures with your education.
3. PEOPLE WOULD TALK ABOUT YOU TWO, DON’T LET IT BOTHER YOU
Dating another student in the same university means that most people would know about your relationship. Most people in college want to talk and spread rumors as there are a lot of immature students too. They might even taunt you by saying that breakup na national cake and all, ignore them, and don’t let it weigh you down. Enjoy the moment and save your strength, you’ll need the strength when the breakup finally touches you.
4. DON’T LET IT TAKE OVER YOUR LIFE
When you start dating in the university, do not disconnect from the world. Keep in touch with your friends, classmates, and other people. Make sure you have a life outside your relationship and try to keep it. There’s a saying that you lose two close friends when you fall in love, so try your best to make new friends while keeping the old ones.
You must have heard many times that your education is the primary reason why you’re in the university and it’s the truth. Don’t skip classes and assignments or start to dey proud for your class rep because you don get boyfriend wey get car.
5. THE END OF A RELATIONSHIP IS NOT THE END OF YOUR LIFE
If your dating relationship doesn’t work, don’t beat yourself too much over it. It might hurt you so much but do not let it disrupt your life and school activities. Talk to friends that can help you move on from your heartbreak.
6. STAY TRUE TO YOURSELF
You shouldn’t have to change yourself for someone. The university is full of beautiful, interesting and admirable people, and it can be intimidating but you do not have to be someone you’re not just to get the approval of a potential date. If someone is truly interested they wouldn’t want you to change at all
7. YOU DON’T HAVE TO DATE IF YOU’RE NOT INTO ANYONE
You’re not alone if you are not looking to date anyone in school and just want to focus on your education and Chapel of Resurrection activities. Not dating in college does not mean you won’t have fun, as there are a lot of activities you can engage in on campus to build the memories you want. So do not go under the pressure of dating someone if you’re not ready or if they’re not interested as some people are looking to catch cruise with nothing serious attached
Dating can help you learn how to love and compromise. It also helps you learn how to balance school with relationships and helps you build many memories to look back on in your future life. However, if you’re not ready to date be happy and embrace your singleness.
I wrote this article listening to ROSEMARY by Savage & Victony